


Meat And Bones

by karanguni



Category: The Culture - Iain M. Banks
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 00:26:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karanguni/pseuds/karanguni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Has the Meatfucker ever even met the FONMC? Because, wow. Whoo-ee. Yowzers."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meat And Bones

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cordialcount](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordialcount/gifts).



> Alas, this drabble wanted to be much, much longer, but time ran itself down. /weeps. Nevertheless, consider it the prelude to a NYR. Happy Yuletide!

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**Ding dong!**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**You know, when I said I was going on retreat, I meant it. Go away; whatever news you have, I don't want to hear it.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**Is that any way to treat a ship born out of that huge GSV belly of yours?**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**I mean it.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**Yes, yes. As much as it might seem like it, I'm not disturbing your tramping just to watch you frown. Thought you might like to know that a visitor is incoming. Since you're the alpha dog here and everything.**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**To this stretch of space?**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**Yup.**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**There's nothing in this volume worth even sniffing at. Who is it?**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**The one and only _Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints_.**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**You've got to be kidding me.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**It's probably out here on orders. The usual SC stand-by stuff, mind you, nothing exciting for you to worry about.**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**I've got nothing against the _Falling Outside..._ being here on SC business. I think it's one of Contact's better agents, frankly.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**That's a rare opinion. So why do I get the impression that you're not exactly pleased it's coming?**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**Take a moment to remember who else is hanging about the system.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**Checking. Oh. I see.**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**Yes. You see.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**Has the _Meatfucker_ ever even met the _FONMC _? Because, wow. Whoo-ee. Yowzers.__**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**You're not helping.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**C'mon, big guy, what's the worse that could happen? The _Grey Area_ 's usually too busy doing… whatever it's doing to bother with something like, say, inter-Mind communication.**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_ Switch to tight beam.

**I will know if you transmit this anywhere else, so don't try, but take a look at this and tell me exactly what you think the "worse that could happen" might be.**

Transfer of passenger manifest of the GCU Grey Area.

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

Transfer received.

**Oh, bloody fuck. Sorry, I take everything I said back. This is an enormous shitshow. I guess it's actually your turn in the round robin to trail after the human, eh? Oh, man. That's a tough break. On the _Meatfucker_ , too, of all ships. What did he do to deserve that? Besides starting and ending a few planet-wide wars, I hear he's an okay guy. Oof. **

**So much for a "retreat," huh?**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**Mm. I'm still free to do anything I want besides setting my course. This assignment's just therapeutic, ambulatory guard duty 90% of the time, until shit like this happens.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**Are you going to stick around to see what happens?**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**Don't have a choice. Given the option, though, I believe my answer to that would've been: fuck no.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**You can't say that it won't be entertaining to watch...**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

 **You and I have very different definitions of entertainment, then.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
  oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**You'd rather tramp around the galaxy watching metaphorical paint dry than see this?**

xGSV _Better To Ask Permission_  
  oGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_

**My loss, I know. Anyway, thanks for the heads up.**

xGCV _Nothing To Fear, Son_  
    oGSV _Better To Ask Permission_

**No problem. _NTFS_ out.**

* * *

xPS _Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints_  
  oGCU (Ostracised) _Grey Area_

**Hello, hello.**

xGCU (Ostracised) _Grey Area_  
  oPS _Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints_

**Well, this is an unexpected pleasure. Hello to you too.**

xPS _Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints_  
  oGCU (Ostracised) _Grey Area_

**Want to play a game?**

xGCU (Ostracised) _Grey Area_  
  oPS _Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints_

**Depends. What's the game?**

xPS _Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints_  
  oGCU (Ostracised) _Grey Area_

**Oh, you'll enjoy this one, _Meatfucker._ What starts with a _Z_.... and ends with _akalwe_?**


End file.
